The Darnedest Things

I will never forget the first time someone ever called me fat. It was the first day of school and I was starting 3rd grade. I was walking to school and my friend "D" was inside the school gate. He yelled "SANDY!!! DON'T COME BACK IN THIS GATE IF YOU GOT FAT!! WHY DID YOU GET FAT!!" I...was.... mortified! I pretended like I had no idea what he was talking about but it broke my heart. I knew exactly what he was talking about. I had probably doubled in weight that summer. Here's the skinny, so to speak. At the end of second grade, I was bone thin, I was pretty and smart. I had long silky dark brown hair and sometimes my mom put vaseline on my lips in the morning so it looked like I wore lip gloss. I was a happy gal. My mom was of the thicker variety as was my older brother and people would always comment on how thin I was. Mommy hated these comments because to her it meant that I was unhealthy, therefor she was a bad mom. Sounds legit, right? Well that summer she heard about these soy shakes given to kids for good nutrition. It was all the rage in the ghetto. So I was fed three shakes a day, give or take, along with my regular food. It was a sad spectacle and no one intervened. I remember my nose being pinched until I swallowed the shakes down on the days I refused. By the time I was ready to go back to school I was fat. So began my fat girl life and fat girl tendencies. Self loathing and shame ruled my world. Then by the end of 3rd grade I got titties, and that is a whole other ball game.