As I have gone through my (many) phases in life and my addictions have gone from playing with toys, collecting things, drugs, drinking, sex and what have you. I notice that the ritual of the addiction are just as important as the actual addiction itself.
For me when it was drugs, there was the major ritual of calling and trying to get the drugs. Then when you get what you want there is the set up. Setting up all the "accessories". Crushing and setting up lines, rolling up the dollar bill, or opening up the Bic pen ( some of yall know what I mean). Then the actual ingesting of the drug.
If it's a person or relationship that is the addiction, then the 20 million calls or texts. The projection of the feelings. The calling them up to offer sex, just to feel some sort of emotional connection to someone (whether reciprocated or not).
All of these rituals are part of the addiction and part of the lead up to the excitement as any other part of the chemical or emotional addiction. Now, I find it quite sad, but in the heat of the moment it was super exciting and absolutely necessary.
Dealing with addictions is difficult and many of us actually just jump from addiction to addiction without ever really being free. I am sorry I do not really have an answer for you here. I am a work in progress but mostly I just wish to be numb.
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